The importance of the relationship between the home, school and church | Christian Education Training Course 2/8

The relationship of home, school and church is crucial to the success of a Reformed Christian school. The Scriptures speak of a three-fold cord that is not quickly broken (Eccl. 4:12). Sadly, many young people in (Chinese) churches have left the church because what they were taught in school destroyed the good that was done in church in home. It is our burden as a church to help parents to fulfill their responsibility to instruct their children in the ways of the LORD. Together we are much stronger than as separate individuals. True Christian fellowship consists in bearing one another’s burdens. The church is the pillar and ground of the truth (1 Tim. 3:15), but the school should seek to reinforce the teaching of the church to the children that grow up in her midst. Therefore the doctrine taught in the school should be the same as the doctrine that the children are taught in the church. The family should be a miniature church, but also support the work of the school, as the parents bear the responsibility for the instruction of their children. Therefore there should be unity of doctrine, purpose and philosophy in church, home and school. Otherwise the children will ask, why does my teacher say that is wrong and you say it’s alright, dad? Or why does the church teach me this, and you say the opposite? Such a situation creates great confusion in the mind of a child.

As they are born into the fellowship of the church, children enjoy a very precious privilege. They are born into an outward covenant relationship with God, and receive the blessings of the means of grace. They enjoy the special revelation of the Word of God. If they have been baptized, their name has been bound to the Name of the Triune God. This covenant relationship is not saving. We see that in the OT, God made a covenant with the whole of the nation of Israel. They were not all elected, but within them there were two types of covenant child: those like Ishmael who were only fleshly children and those like Isaac, true spiritual children of the covenant. This is explained for us in Gal. 4. It is the same today. All who are baptized in the church are in a covenant relationship with God. But the requirement of that covenant is repentance and faith (Rom. 14:23b). This makes our responsibility very great, because of our great privileges (Luk. 12:48). Without true faith and repentance, we are actually covenant breakers. Such people will suffer a much greater judgment than those outside the church. They have known the way of salvation, but they have neglected it (2 Pet. 2:21). This covenant relationship will never be broken even in hell. The rich man in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus calls Abraham father, and he calls him son (Luk. 16:24). The water of baptism will never dry up. Thus the responsibility of parents to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord is very great. They have been entrusted a child, on whose forehead the Name of the Triune God has been placed in baptism. We saw before how the Bible clearly speaks of this: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). The parents cannot give this responsibility to the school. If the school fails in its responsibility that is their guilt, but it is also the fault of the parents, who did not take their own responsibility seriously.

Home-school relationship

Although the school could be said to be a church school, it is also rooted in the families of the children who attend it. This is for the simple reason that as we said last time, education of the children remains the parent’s responsibility. The school’s work is delegated responsibility. So every family should fully support the goals and the Biblical foundation of the school. Parents should be represented in the board of governors, and be involved in the daily running of the school. At the same time, there should be clear boundaries, which are respected by both parents and teachers. The delegated authority of the teacher is real authority. The parents must be watchful not to undermine that authority by not supporting the work and decisions of the teacher.

As mentioned in the first session, according to Scripture the authority of education rests with parents. The authority of the school is a delegated authority. The school should establish its educational philosophy, discipline and curriculum according to the Scriptures. Once the school has expressed these principles clearly, it is up to the parents to decide whether they support them or not.¹ That is one reason why the church has decided to hold these weeks of training for prospective parents and teachers. That is why the school we hope to establish requires the parents to sign a form, declaring their support for the Biblical principles of the school. This support is crucial to the success of the school. So we cannot emphasize enough the importance of the relationship between the parents and their child’s education. The school cannot make right what is wrong at home. If the parents’ relationship is weak, or they have financial or other problems, this will have a great influence on their child’s education. If the parents fail to take their responsibility seriously, this will also affect their child. But if the parents seek to do all they can to support the work of education, their child will thrive.

So the parents should seek to take an active interest in their child’s education. Where there is opportunity, they should be involved in school activities. There should be regular contact between teachers and parents. This contact should not only be about his or her academic progress, but also should touch on the circumstances of the child’s home life, family worship, involvement in the activities of the school etc. The parent should support the work of the teacher and the teacher should seek to help and support the parents in the upbringing. They should play a practical supporting role in the work of the school. Parents should pray for the work of the school regularly, and through regular communication with the teacher, the parents will feel motivated to do so. As Bonhoeffer says, true Christian fellowship begins when the other person’s burden becomes our burden, rather than just being someone to manipulate. So in true Christian fellowship, be it between school and home or between home and church, or between church and school, the burden of the other becomes my burden. I intercede for their need as though it was my need. So Christ intercedes for His people before the throne of God, and so He bore the curse in their place on the cross of Calvary.

As we will see when we address the matter of public schools, the humanistic ideal is that the parents should hand over their children to the state to be educated and made into good citizens. But the same idea can easily pervade the Christian school/parent relationship. The parents think it’s enough to hand over their child to the school and pay the fee. And the teachers can easily promote this attitude of the parents by assuming a professional role. Some teachers feel the involvement of parents is a hindrance to their professional ability, so they keep the parents at a safe distance. The Biblical pattern is for the school to be a Servant school, a servant of the parents. There are 4 aspects where the school should help the parents take their responsibility:

1. Day-to-day involvement

This is the best way to motivate parents to play an active role in the education of their children. By coming to the school and taking a practical part they will see how important their contribution to their child’s education is.

2. Communication

– frequent, personal and consistent communication is crucial to build a strong relationship of trust and involvement between the teacher and the parents. Also the ways that the parent and the teacher teach the child should be consistent. It has been proven by research that of 13 different factors, the involvement of parents in the education of their children has the greatest effect in enhancing their children’s performance.² In fact children long that their parents should be involved in their education. So both the communication of the teachers and the active support of the parents are crucial to make this succeed. So the school timetable should include specific time for communication between teachers and parents. Another good manner is for the teacher to visit the homes of their students, to see the circumstances of the home. The vision and the educational philosophy needs to be understood and supported by the parents. Otherwise the work of the teachers will bear little fruit. Sadly many parents are deeply influenced by post-modernism and lack the responsibility to take an active role in their child’s education. So the crucial elements of building a good relationship between teachers and parents are: building mutual trust, keeping consistency, uniting effort, empowering authority and providing information.

3. Discipline

– discipline is the father’s responsibility. The school should involve the father in any situation where discipline is required. Parents should understand that if they do not support the reasonable discipline of their child, according to the principles which are laid down in the school’s bye-laws, they undermine both the authority of the teacher and their own authority as parents.

4. Sex education etc.

This is clearly the parent’s responsibility. Of course the school can follow up this instruction, but it’s the parent’s role to teach their child morals, the school’s task is to reinforce morals. Only parents can teach their children to make good moral choices. Again and again we see that the influence of parents in such matters is the strongest. The morals of the parents are strongly reflected in their children.

Church-school relationship

It is vital that we realize that a school is not another church. Although the school must and should share in the same doctrinal foundation as the church, this does not mean that the school is an extension of the church. For the effective functioning of both, church and school should remain distinct. Many problems have arisen in Christian schools because the line of separation between school and church was not made clear at the start. For example, if a church has the burden to start a Christian school, it is logical that the minister will take an important role in setting it up. His role is very important in guiding the direction of the school, for example by becoming a member of the board of governors. But he should not be involved in the day-to-day running of the school. That is not his calling, unless in exceptional circumstances there is no suitable principal to fill this role. The ideal relationship is that the board of governors communicates with the principal and the principal manages the school. In this way, the board may watch over the Biblical philosophy of education etc. without interfering in the day-to-day running of the school. The teachers are not accountable to the board, but only to the principal.

The vital link between school and church is Biblical doctrine and a Biblical philosophy. There should be a unity of doctrine in both church and school. This means that the doctrine of salvation as held by our church must also be reflected in the teaching of the Bible in the school. In later weeks we will consider this doctrine of salvation together. In short we believe that the children should be taught their true condition as sinners and their need of the new birth and saving faith in Jesus Christ. We reject the modern theology commonly found in many Christian schools that the students are already Christians, loved by God and just have to grow up in the faith. The radical nature of our fall in sin, and the vital need of renewal by the power of the Holy Spirit lies at the heart of Reformed doctrine. At the same time, a united Biblical philosophy of Christian education is vital. This philosophy recognizes the need to rethink all teaching in our school, so that every subject is approached from a truly Biblical perspective. This Biblical philosophy is being developed now, and will be laid down as a document which parents will be required to agree to if they wish their child to join the school. We want to strive for the highest standard of Reformed Christian education, which may be made a blessing not only to Wuhan, but also for China at large. We also believe that a Biblical philosophy should be rooted in a Classical approach to education, as we will discuss in later sessions.

Church-home relationship

The third link, the church-home relationship is also extremely important for the success of the school. The congregation is the body of Christ on earth. It is made up of those who profess the true doctrine of Christ and their children, according to Acts 2:39. Part of that body is thus the children of the congregation. They are by nature the same as all men, born in sin and shapen in iniquity. They bear a heart which is inclined to every sin. But as we mentioned they have been born into a special covenant relationship. They are holy, not by nature, but according to their status (1 Cor. 7:14). In baptism, they have been set apart by God for God. They hear the Word of God proclaimed, and are part of the body of Christ on earth. We like Hannah, should give them back to the LORD, from whom we have received them (1 Sam. 1:24). They with us need to be washed in the blood of Christ. They need to be hidden in the Hiding Place from the wrath of God. The Word of Christ needs to become a living reality to them, by the power of God’s grace. So the parents should take every opportunity to bring their children to the church, to hear the preaching of the Word and to enter into the life of the congregation. Parents need to take time to share with the children why we go to church, and why it is so important and such a great blessing. They should speak about the sermon they have heard with the children. They should lead their children by their example to love the house of God and the service of God. The life of the church is a life of community, like the life of the family and the school. There we serve one another, show care for one another, listen to one another and share the Word of God with one another. The sin of the family will influence the church, and the condition of the church will influence the family. A godly family is a means of blessing to all those in the church. They give a powerful example to others of what the life of grace is.

This relationship implies that the teaching and conduct in our families reflects what the children hear and experience in church and are taught in the school. If we criticize or undermine the teaching and authority of the church by our words or our example, we are driving a wedge between our children and the congregation. The children should not be able to say, dad/mum why do we hear that in church on the Lord’s Day, but at home you do the complete opposite? What is right? Who should I believe is true? But if you together listen to the voice of God coming to you in the preaching and teaching of the church, and bow in humility and submission before it, you will hear Christ speaking to you. We need grace to humble ourselves before the Word of the living God. That is why family worship and times of sharing together as a family are so precious. Each person can read the passage together in their own Bibles. Sing a psalm together. Singing is a most important and precious gift of God to us. Something happens when we sing His praise, we join with the heavenly host in worshipping God. He will bless your family for honouring Him in this way! Discuss the sermon together, and encourage the children to remember it by saying to them, we will discuss the sermon afterwards, so make sure you listen carefully! Show them the riches and the joy of a life lived to the glory of God. Speak about His promises and His threatening’s. Point them to Christ and His Almighty grace for the greatest of sinners!

In summary, we have seen that where there is a threefold unity of home, church and school, this will be a great means of great blessing to our children. If any one of these three relationships breaks down, this can have profound consequences for the child. May the Lord help us as parents, members of the congregation or as prospective teachers to honour Him in the position in which He has placed us.